CASPER, Wyo. — As teachers get to know their students, it’s natural for them to imagine how they’ll turn out as adults. After all, the purpose of teaching is to lay the groundwork for a long and successful adulthood.
Margo Warren, an educator, is constantly thinking about two former students. One student died just days before graduating from high school. She had taught another student in third grade. “We’re not supposed to have favorites, but he definitely was top tier for me,” she told me. She learned two years ago that he, too, had died after high school.
Both young people died by suicide.
Margo, a resource English teacher at NCHS, finds those losses not only painful but also deeply personal. So when the opportunity to be heavily involved in a novel anti-suicide initiative presented itself earlier this year, she jumped at it.
Margo serves as Natrona County’s adult liaison for the Jae Foundation, which aims to provide new cowboy boots to every high school senior and school staff member in order to spark a conversation about mental health issues.
The Idaho-based organization is named after Jae Bing, a Pinedale, Wyoming resident who committed suicide in 2016. Jae’s best friend, traumatized by the sudden loss, decided to establish a foundation to combat the “cowboy up” mentality and reduce the stigma associated with depression and suicidal ideation.
The boots are there to connect people and remind them to check in with friends and engage in conversations. The program is especially relevant in Wyoming, which consistently has one of the highest suicide rates in the country.
The program has continued to spread rapidly into towns and cities throughout Wyoming and Idaho, with plans to expand even further. A Twin Falls retail location contributes to the project’s funding, which is supplemented by local grants and fundraising.
Margo was offered the position of liaison earlier this year. “I said, ‘Yes, please, put me down.’ “This is something I am very passionate about, and I feel very connected to the program,” she explained.
The program is in its fourth year, and this is only the second time Natrona County schools have participated. Last year’s inaugural run had a significant impact, according to NCHS principal Aaron Wilson. “When our kids went through it, the feedback we got is it’s the one thing that can really stick with them,” he told me. “The boots are a symbol for them to remember to reach out, and it’s OK to find someone if they’re struggling or to be the person somebody can come to if they need to.”
Suicide prevention is discussed beginning in ninth grade, he said, but the boots have provided a significant new avenue for communication.
Last year, all seniors and faculty members received new boots. This year, new faculty members will receive boots alongside all seniors. Students decide on a “boot check” day, which encourages everyone to wear their boots on the same occasion.
In NC’s case, it’s Wednesday. “It’s just a reminder every week that you are loved, you are cared about, and if you need help there’s somebody here to help you, for both staff and students,” Margo told me. Sometimes children choose to skip the “boot check,” while others choose to wear boots on other occasions. That’s fine, Margo said: no one has to wear boots, but the opportunity to offer or request assistance has been established. “The boots are a great visual, and it opens up that conversation where students can say, ‘Oh, I’m not OK,’ and be able to reach out.”
Boot distribution is this week, and it began last Friday at KWHS when 1,500 new boots were delivered in trucks and promptly unloaded by dozens of volunteers. The unmistakable sweet odor of new leather filled the air as two large rooms in the school’s athletic and JROTC departments were converted into temporary boot markets.
Glenda Thomas of the McMurry Foundation was on hand to help organize the event. The charitable foundation was established by the late Mick and Susie McMurry and is now managed by their daughter Trudi. Suicide is a painful reality in Wyoming, and many people have been affected by it. Mick was important to the McMurry family.
“Trudi lost her dad over 10 years ago,” Glenda told me, “and she’s had a lot of different organizations approach her for different things, and the Jae Foundation really spoke to her heart.” The boots are purchased and stored offsite until they are ready to be staged.
This week, seniors from KW and Midwest will be able to choose their own boots. On Friday, the remaining KW boots will be loaded and hauled to NCHS, where additional boots will be brought from storage and staged for NC and Roosevelt students to peruse.
“I know my two boys were seniors last year, and they’ve had a lot of friends that have had tough times,” Glenda reported, “and one of the things Jae’s story does is help you check in on your friends and have difficult conversations, instead of the ‘cowboy up’ mentality where you just bury your thoughts and feelings and pretend they don’t exist.”
Jansen Curry was among the volunteers who set up boots at KW on Friday. She is also a student ambassador for the program, one of only a few people trained locally to speak to students about the boots and their significance. “I wasn’t sure what it was all about,” she said, until she went to Idaho for training and realized the symbolism. “I just thought it was so powerful and so beautifully done, and a very simple way of trying to create a culture shift by using cowboy boots.”
Jansen stated that she has already used her training in a positive manner. “Somebody opened up to me that they were not in a good place, and because of the exposure of this foundation, I was able to sit and listen, and hold space for that person,” she told me. “I don’t know that I would’ve been prepared for that difficult conversation.”
The devastating aftermath of a suicide includes unanswered questions, guilt, and confusion. “I think you hear more times than not, ‘I didn’t see it coming; if only they would have reached out for help,'” said Aaron. “And that’s what the boots help give kids: the permission to remember that people are here for them.
“If they can remember Jae’s story by putting on their boots or seeing them in the closet, there’s somebody to listen to you, somebody to be there for you.”
